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Chapter 3: Pain

Phoenix POV

Sitting in the hospital after Happy left, has to be the most boring and annoying thing ever. He said he would be back and I know he will be, I’m just surprised he came at all. We haven’t spoke since I left, that’s not to say I haven’t spoken to his mom, though. This isn’t the first time I’ve been beaten and raped. It’s just been many years since the last time it happened. My ‘mother’, would sell me to men for a hour or two, for them to do whatever they wanted to me, as long as I wasn’t killed. Most of them, raped me, some of them just beat me. One, liked to beat me with his belt or a whip. He got a sick pleasure from it and always ejaculated on top of me. I ran away when I was seventeen, not able to take anymore of the abuse or being around my mother. Happy’s the only one that knows everything about my childhood. I don’t like talking about it, but I felt like he should know. I will say this, it helped make me into the person I am today. I never thought, that as an adult, I would be attacked like this. The funny thing is, statistics show when you are sexually abuse as a child, you tend to be more promiscuous. I went against that, because I couldn’t stand the thought of being touched. I was terrified that they would hurt me, then I met Happy. He is the first man I’ve ever let have me that way willingly. I didn’t have sex with him for two months at the beginning of our relationship. I told him why I couldn’t and he was surprisingly understanding. The first time we did have sex, he was gentle with me. Like, he was trying to show me, it was ok. When we lost, Will, my world fell apart. I wasn’t the same and neither was Happy, but what made me leave was the fact that for the first time in our entire relationship, Happy fucked around on me. It wasn’t even on the road, it was in the Tacoma clubhouse. I didn’t cry, mainly because I knew it would happen, but it broke my heart. I loved, still do actually, him more than anything on this planet, aside from our son and he did that to me. Knowing that, if and when, I found out, I would leave. I think that’s what he wanted though. We both blamed ourselves over Will not surviving. I still do on some level, I feel like if I had done something different, maybe our sweet boy would have lived. I’m knocked out of my thoughts, by the door opening, showing my husband and his friend, Tig.

“Hey, mama,” Happy says walking in.

“Hey, sweetness, Tig,” I nod, glancing at the clock, it’s after visiting hours, I wonder how they got in here.

“Hey, dollface,” Tig nods taking a seat at the end of my bed.

“Find the fuckers,” I ask, hoping to have some answers.

“Yep, I’ll tell you more about it tomorrow. By the way, you need a new job,” Happy tells me sitting on the side of my bed.

“Lovely, you know, not many people want to hire me, because they find out I’m married to an Outlaw,” I say to him with an indignant look.

“You’ll live, hell, open up your own bakery. I’ll even help you,” Happy shrugs.

“Sure, where the hell would I open a damn bakery? ”

“Do you even know how to bake,” Tig asks.

“Ask Happy if I know how to bake,” I say laying my head back gently.

I see Tig look at Happy questioningly, before he answers, “Oh yeah, she can bake. Why the fuck do you think I workout all the damn time.”

“Huh, you’ll have to make me something when you get better then, dollface,” Tig replies with a grin.

“Sure, once I have access to a decent kitchen,” I shrug. “I get out tomorrow, right,” I ask looking up at Happy.

“Yeah, I need your keys and shit so I can get you some stuff from your place, plus, I doubt you’ll be ok on my bike,” Happy shrugs.

“You want to drive my baby,” I look at him questioningly.

“No, but I know you won’t be able to be on my bike,” he shakes his head.

“Happy, if anything, and I mean anything at all, happens to my baby, I’ll skin you alive and anyone else who was involved,” I threaten him.

I love my car. I have a 1967 Chevy Impala, hardtop, that is in mint condition. I saw one when I was a little girl and fell in love. When I was nineteen, I found one for sale. The owner was getting rid of it because he couldn’t drive anymore and his kids didn’t want it. He actually gave me a hell of a deal for it, because and I quote, ‘I’ll appreciate it and take care of it like I would my own child.’ I have taken excellent care of her and I’ll kill anyone who hurts her.

“I won’t hurt your baby,” he rolls his eyes at me.

“What’s the big deal, it’s just a cage,” Tig asks baffled.

I feel myself get a little irritated by that statement and quickly explain to him why it’s a big deal to me. I will not stand for anyone telling me, it’s just a car. He realizes his mistake quickly, though and apologizes.

“Just don’t call of just a cage, again,” I tell him with a nod.

“How is your ma doin’,” I ask Happy.  I haven’t spoken to her in a few months.

“She’s doin’ good, I know she’s worried about you, though,” he says.

“I know, I told them not to call her, but they didn’t listen.  I’ll give her a call when I get out of here.  I haven’t actually talked to her for a few months,” I sigh trying to relax.

“She’ll be happy to hear from you.  I’ll take you to visit her when I go down this weekend,” he tells me.

I see Tig watching us with rapped attention.  I’m sure he’s trying to figure us out, figure out how we are so comfortable around one another, especially since it’s Happy we’re talking about.  Happy has always shown me a sweeter and softer side of himself.  I know who he is and what he is, but with me, he was always different.  I see something that only one other person ever has, his ma.  She raised him right, I don’t question that at all.  But, he is who he is, he’s rough and tough, but I do love that soft side.  When I was pregnant with Will, he was always so caring and loving.  He always checked on me when he had to go on a run, made sure the guys that stayed behind were with me.  He worried, with good reason, but at the time, I found it very annoying.  Now, I miss it, I miss him being with me, loving me, protecting me.  Who am I to say that he has to be with me though, he can have his pick of women, I’m sure he has since we’ve separated.  I don’t blame him, I probably should have filed for a divorce by now.  He deserves to be happy, even if that’s not with me.  I will always love Happy, I just don’t think he’ll always love me.  Because of me, our son is dead.  I couldn’t protect him, by genetics killed him.  I have the same heart condition that Will had, the one that killed him.  Medications that I have to take daily, that keep me alive.  Happy knew all of this, he knew the chances and still, was ecstatic about becoming a father.  Will dying destroyed us, our relationship.  Happy thought I was better off without him and I knew that it was because I killed our son.  Every day, I think of what our little boy would look like now.  Maybe, my hair with Happy’s eyes and skin tone, who knows.  But, I do know that I will always love him, he will always be my first born, my sweet boy.

“Whatcha thinkin’ ’bout,” Hap asks.

“Nothing of importance,” I give him a small smile, hoping he’ll leave it alone.  I know that he probably won’t though.

“Nah, you got that face, your thinkin’ face,” he shakes his head.

“Just the past Happy, nothing of importance anymore,” I sigh looking away from him.

“The past, meaning our past?”

“Yep.”

“Tig, take a walk, I gotta talk to Star,” making me wince.  I hate it when he calls me that, he’s the only one that calls me by my first name.  Tig nods and heads out, as Happy looks at me.  The look in his eyes, make me worry.

 

Chapter 2: Let the games begin

Happy POV

I greet the guys and we head to church. They’re about to get a shock, everyone knew I never wanted to get married, or have kids. Well, they all thought I wouldn’t, since I’m an evil bastard. I’m not the settling down type, I’m also a selfish prick. The only person I’ve ever shown that I care about is ma, she’s been my priority for years. Them finding out that I’m married, well, they’ll find that hard to believe. Tig can believe it, because he saw me with Phoenix, but seeing it and hearing about it, is two different things. Clay calls order, we get down to business, the next gun run and whatnot. Then, the table turns to me, my turn to tell them all this shit.

“Hap, tell us about this wife you have,” Clay says with a raised brow.

“I’ve been married to Phoenix for seven years. I kept it a secret from you guys because we’ve been separated for two years. The guys in Tacoma know about her and know her, but they’re the only ones. You know I like to keep my private life, private,” I start to tell them. I tell them everything, from how we got married, to Will’s birth and death. All the guys looked shocked and for a minute, I’m afraid Piney, might kill over. How I fucked around on her at the Tacoma clubhouse to get her to leave. Then, explaining what happened to her last night. I’m pretty sure, this is the most they’ve ever heard me talk. I keep my private life just that, private. I pull out the drawing she gave me and handing it around the table. Hoping they will recognize them like Tig did, so I have some idea as to who the fuckers are. They need to die, a lot. No one fucks with my woman and lives to tell about it. “Tig, you recognized at least one of the drawings, wanna tell me,” I ask with a raised brow.

“It’s a loan sharks logo. Dudes, fuckin’ ruthless, if they went after her, she could have been handed to them in a sense, as a form of payment. But, she said she didn’t have friends, so I’m not sure why they’d come after her,” Tig tells me with a shrug.

“What’s the bastards name?”

“Johnny Patts, once he knows you’re lookin’ for him, he’ll run. I’d keep it under wraps that you’re looking for him,” Tig tells me with a serious expression.

“I want you to take a couple guys with you. I know, I ain’t gonna be able to stop you, but I don’t want you goin’ alone,” Clay says with a nod. “Take Tig, Chibs and Jax. I think they’ll be best for this one, unless anyone has any objections,” he says looking around the table.  Everyone shakes their heads no and Clay slams the gavel.

“Got any idea where this fucker is,” I ask Tig hopin’ he knows somethin’.

“Yeah, Lodi. He has a strip club their called, Naughty Honey. He’s always there,” Tig tells me, I can see in his eyes, he’s ready for a fight. He may be a sick son of a bitch, but he’s loyal.

“Hap, we’re with you, brotha,” Jax says slapping me on the back. He’s a good kid, just needs a little more experience.

“Aye, gotcha back, brotha,” Chibs nods before lighting a cigarette.

“Good, then let’s hit the road. Told Phoenix I’d be back to stay with her tonight,” I nod heading for the door.

“You gonna give that a go, again,” Tig asks.

“I never wanted her to leave, but at the same time, I thought it would be best if she did. Losing, Will, was too much for us,” I shrug.

We hop on our bikes and take off to Lodi. The little bastard is goin’ to get what’s coming to him. Phoenix didn’t deserve that shit, hell, no woman does. I’m and evil fuck, but even I wouldn’t do that to a woman. Phoenix is one of the best things to ever happen to me. She’s strong, understands the club, loving, a good heart, but she can be just as evil as I am. Ma, loves Phoenix and when we split, ma, was pissed. Pissed at me, because I fucked a gash in the clubhouse while my wife was at home. Got bitched at for it and ma, told me if I did it again and didn’t make things right, she’d beat my ass. Funny thing though, I wouldn’t be surprised if she did, that’s how much she loved Phoenix.

We get to the strip club and there’s barely anyone there. This might be easier than I originally thought. The bouncer let’s us in straight away and we go to the bar.

“I’m looking for Johnny,” I tell the guy behind the bar.

“Who wants to know,” he asks.

“Tell him I want to make a deal,” I tell him, the guys all look around watching everyone as I’m dealing with the little shit.

He nods and goes into the back. A few minutes later he walks out with another guy, who motions me forward. Tig follows while, Chibs and Jax, stay out front. Walking down the hallway, we stop at the door at the end. I’m ready, already calculating my moves. I won’t kill the fucker yet, I want him to live in fear before that happens. Draw it out, make him think it’s over before I kill ’em. The bouncer opens the door and inside is a man, tall, thin and looking like he’s tryin’ to be a badass standing behind a desk.

“How can I help you gentlemen,” Johnny asks with an air of confidence and arrogance.

“I wanna talk,” I demand.

“What would you like to talk about,” he says with a brow raised.

“You had my woman beat and raped and I wanna know why,” I look at him straight in the eye, my voice sounding like razor blades.

“Who’s your woman,” he asks with a little smirk, clearly too stupid to realize he’s about to get a beat down.

“Her names, Star, works at a bakery here in Lodi. Now, I wanna know why she was attacked, you either answer the easy way, or I get to have some fun,” I say expressionless.

“Ah, the lovely little, Star. She was handed over as payment, unfortunately, we aren’t done with her,” he says cockily.

“Oh, you’re done,” I say just before punching him. I get a few more hits before throwing him into his chair, needing to figure out who the fuck would use my wife as payment. “Who used my wife as payment,” I demand roughly.

“Her boss, Tim Southers. He owes me for bailing him out on almost losing his business. Said the bitch liked it rough,” he says quickly, probably hoping that’s the end of it.

“Nah, see, my wife isn’t a whore. She doesn’t sleep around and she sure as fuck, wouldn’t let her boss hand her over. I’m gonna give you a beating, then I’m goin’ to find her boss. But, I’m not done with you, yet. We’re goin’ to talk again, I don’t recommend leaving, or calling the cops, either,” I say before laying into him again.

I beat him within an inch of his life, knowing he won’t say shit, plus the guys are taking care of the tapes and others. I want this fucker to suffer, but I ain’t got all night. Once I’m done, we leave and call Juice to find where, Tim Southers lives.  Tig calls and has some of the other guys, to come and get Johnny to take him to the warehouse.  I’m not done with him, but I’ll let him stew for a few hours.  Juice gives us, Tim Southers, address and we head to his house.  Little place, looks like no one lives there other than him.  I get off my bike, followed by Tig and head to the door.  Knocking, I hear movement, but it takes a few minutes before anyone opens the door.

“You, Tim,” I demand.

“Yeah, who the fuck are you,” he asks, tryin’ to sound tough.

“You know a woman named, Phoenix Lowman,” I ask.

“Yeah, what about her,” he asks, but this time, his voice wavers.

“I’m her fuckin’ husband, see, last night she was raped and beaten.  Come to find, she was attacked because of you.  Somethin’ about you makin’ a deal with a loan shark, in exchange for you not havin’ to pay,” I tell him, making my way into his house.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, man,” he stutters slightly, knowing he’s been caught.

“See, I don’t believe you.  I know that you handed her over, in a way at least, because I just came from Johnny Patts place and he told me it was you.  Now, you got two options, either you come with me and my friends, peacefully, or we can take you and I don’t think one person here will give a damn.  They don’t seem to like you anyway, but I tell them what you’ve done to my wife, well, even the biggest asshole would let me take you,” I tell him, looking around his place.  Seeing nothing that shows someone else lives here.

He doesn’t have a wedding ring on, no pictures of kids, or even family or friends.  He’s alone, which doesn’t make sense.  I’m not sure what kind of fucker owns a bakery, but doesn’t have any family.  Just seems strange, makes me wonder why the hell he would have a bakery, but doesn’t have anyone to share it with.

“Tell me, what kind of fucker has a bakery, but don’t have anyone around.  Seems like somethin’ ain’t right about this.  People don’t just open shit like a bakery, but have issues with a loan shark.  Not to mention, you seem like a pervy fuck anyway.  Let me guess, you like kids?  Like to see if you can lure them to you.  I bet you’re a kiddy fucker ain’t cha,” I ask, knowin’ I’m probably right.

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, get out,” he demands, looking pissed.

“Let me ask you this, anyone in this neighborhood let you have anything to do with their kids?”

“I’m an active member of this community,” he states, but looks nervous.

I notice, Tig, walking back inside and he looks pissed.  Something tells me, I’m right and we don’t play that shit.

“Just got off the phone with Juice, fuckers been arrested for child porn, but the case was dropped.  His neighbor said, no one lets him around their kids, because they all think he’s a kiddy fucker.  Said, that if we could get rid of him, they’d probably through us a fuckin’ parade,” Tig says cracking his knuckles.

“That true,” I ask with a raised brow.

“Yes,” he whispers.

Chapter 1: Hey, Sweetness.

Happy/OFC.  I do not own SOA, I just own the characters I create for my amusement.  Also, this is pre-series.  It will have some of the show events in it, but I’m trying to make it my own, with the characters Kurt Sutter created. Enjoy! 

Happy POV

Working in the garage at, Teller-Morrow, I’ve been in Charming for a few months now.  I transferred a month ago, needing to be closer to ma.  She’s not getting better and it’s not like I have anyone else who can help me with her.  My phone rings, bringing me out of my thoughts.  I.D. says it’s ma, which doesn’t make sense, but I answer it anyway.

“Ma, you a’ight,,” I answer.

“Hijo, I’m fine.  I got a call from the hospital in Lodi, Star’s in the hospital.  She was attacked,” she says with a sad voice.

“WHAT?”

“You need to get there, it didn’t sound good, my boy,” she tells me, my mind racing.

“I’ll get there, I’ll let you know what’s going on,” I say before hanging up.

I walk over to Clay, knowing this is going to be a bitch to explain, but I need to get to her.  Phoenix Star Lowman, my wife of seven years, we’ve been separated for two years.  Not that I blame her for leaving, fuck, we needed it.

“Clay, I gotta go, family emergency,” I say hoping that’s all I need to say.

“Your ma, ok?” He asks.

“She’s fine, look I’ll explain when I get back, but I gotta go now,” not wanting to disrespect my pres, but knowing it’s serious if they called ma.

“Take Tig with you, don’t want anyone riding alone,” he says with a stern look, telling me he wants an explanation soon.  I nod and go get Tig, before heading to Lodi.

Tig didn’t ask questions, but I know they’re coming.  I just need to make sure my baby girls ok.  Just over two years ago, Phoenix and I were in the hospital in Tacoma, waiting on our son to come into the world.  He did, but he didn’t live long.  His heart gave out, not strong enough to make it and taking our son, William away from us.  The only ones who know about her or William are the guys in Tacoma and they know better than to say anything.  When Will died, Phoenix and I both lost ourselves and each other.  I ended up fucking around on her, because I thought that would be the only way she’d leave.  She found out and she didn’t even cry, she told me she knew it would happen because she couldn’t give me a son and then walked away.  Hell, before her I never wanted an old lady or kids.  Then, she popped up, with her bitchy attitude and snarky demeanor, I was done.  She’s the only bitch I’ve ever let talk to me like she does, except ma.  I loved bantering with her, she was quick to push my buttons, but it always turned me on.  Now, she’s in the fucking hospital after being attacked and I don’t even know what the fuck is going on.  I can still see her, long light brown curly hair, with red and gold highlights, hazel-green eyes, full pouty lips, hourglass body.  Big tits, big ass and all wrapped in a 5’ frame.  The saying dynamite comes in small packages is true in her case. She’s feisty, fiery and won’t take shit from anyone. Her childhood shaped her into who she is, she was abused physically and sexually and it made her fight back. Pulling into the parking lot, Tig and I park our bikes and head inside.

“Phoenix Lowman’s room,” I demand.

“Sir, only family is allowed in there and you’re clearly not family,” the bitch nurse says in a bitchy way.

“I’m her fuckin’ husband, now tell me what fuckin’ room she’s in,” I fucking roar.

She jumps and looks at the computer, “room 314.”

Tig follows me to the elevator and I see him bounce for fucking information.

“Wife,” he asks as soon as the doors close.

“Yep,” I nod.

“Since when are you married? I always see you with a crow eater,” he says confused.

“We’ve been married for seven years and separated for two. When we were together, I never fucked around on her,” I shrug.

“Then, why the fuck do you care so much about this bitch,” he questions.

“We separated when I fucked around on her, I ain’t pissed about it, but I never stopped lovin’ her, that’s all you need to know,” I tell him sternly. The only fuckin’ reason I told him that much was because I knew he wouldn’t shut up.

We step off the elevator and go straight to her room. I see a woman in there, looks like the doctor.

“May I help you,” she asks quietly when she sees me.

“I’m her husband, tell me what happened,” I demand in a soft voice. Phoenix is out and I don’t want to wake her.

“Follow me into the hall, I’ll explain,” she nods to the door. I nod at Tig to follow. “She was attacked, she was beaten and raped. She has a laceration above her eyebrow that had to be stitched, bruised ribs on her right side, her left hip is bruised as well. We did a rape kit and there was some tearing, but given time, she’ll heal. She also has a cut on the back of her head, but no concussion. Honestly, Mr. Lowman, I’m more concerned with her mental health. She hasn’t seemed to want to talk about it or even acknowledge the attack. I’m hoping with you here, she’ll be more willing to talk to you,” the doctor tells me with concern on her face.

“What’re the chances of her gettin’ pregnant?” I ask.

“We didn’t find any semen, but we always do follow up pregnancy tests just to be safe. I don’t think she will end up pregnant from this. From my stand point, I think this was a planned attack on your wife. The police think seem to think the same,” she nods.

“When will she wake up,” I ask, anxious to talk to her.

“She’s just napping. She’ll wake up before too long,” the doctor nods. “I plan to release her tomorrow. I want to keep her for observation, but if there’s anything you or her need, just buzz the nurse,” she shakes my hand and Tig and I go back into her room. Phoenix is awake and when she sees me she gives me an annoyed look, but smiles right after.

“Hey, sweetness,” she says in her soft sweet voice.

“Hey, baby girl, how you feelin’,” I ask as I walk over to her.

“Sore, I’m guessing your ma called,” she looks up at me questioningly.

“Yeah, what the fuck happened, Star,” I ask her softly, I only ever called her that when somethin’ was wrong.

“I was attacked when I was leaving the bakery. I’ve been working there and was working late on a big order and when I came out, I was hit from behind. I didn’t see any of there faces, but I saw some of their tattoos and heard their voices,” Phoenix tells me in a quivering voice.

“If I got you some paper would you be able to draw the tattoos? I need something to go on to find these bastards, baby,” I ask her quietly. Tig is watching us with a sharp eye, trying to figure it all out.

“Yeah, but wait until after the cops come again. I told them I didn’t remember anything, that they didn’t say anything and I couldn’t see them,” she whispers. “You gonna introduce me to your little friend here, sweetness,” she smiles up at me.

“Tig, this is my wife, Star, Star this is SAMCRO’s S.A.A., Tig,” I introduce them.

“Nice to meet you, Tig,” she says holding her hand out to him.

“Nice to meet you, too, doll face,” he says shaking her hand.

“I’m gonna assume from the look on your face, you didn’t know he was married to such a pretty face,” Phoenix says cheekily with a wink to me, making me chuckle.

“Nope, had no idea he was married. Gotta say, you sure you wanna be married to this psycho killer,” he winks at her.

“Believe it or not, even though we’re separated, I still love his crazy ass,” she smiles up at me, that smile I’ve always loved seeing in her face.

I’d always love this woman, she sees the soft side of me, the one no one has seen other than my ma. One, I never thought I’d show anyone other than ma. She always told me to be who I needed to be for the club, but be who I was with her, for her. I love the kill, seeing life leave them. But, with Phoenix, I want to be that softer side. To love her, protect her and be there for her, no matter what it takes. I just don’t know if she would give me a real chance to do that again.

“Ditto, baby girl,” I say kissing her forehead. A knock interrupts us, followed by two men walking in.

“We’re going to have to ask you two gentlemen to leave, we need to talk to your friend here,” the first one says arrogantly.

“Well, officer, you see, this one here,” she says pointing at me,” is my husband and he doesn’t have to leave. Furthermore, this one here, is my step dad and he doesn’t have to leave either. I don’t appreciate you coming in here like you own the place and tell them they need to leave, when I feel safer with them present. If that’s a problem for you, then please feel free to leave and not return,” my loving wife states. Might be a lie about Tig, but I get the feeling she doesn’t want me to be the only one in here for this.

“Ma’am, they can’t be present while we question you,” the same arrogant man says, his partner has been quiet.

“Questioned? I was under the impression, I was the victim, not the suspect, if that’s the way you see it, then get out. I’m not going to be treated like shit when I’ve been beaten and raped and you don’t want to actually do your job,” she says in a pissed of tone.

“Ma’am, what my partner is trying to say, is we need to ask you a few questions about your attack. I know it’s probably the last thing you want to even think about, but we do want to find the people who did this to you,” the one who’s been quiet the whole time finally speaks up.

“You’re right, it is the last thing I want to talk or think about, but I’m not going to be treated like shit, just because your partner here, doesn’t want to do his job correctly and treat me with some decency,” Phoenix is gettin’ pissed, I can tell from the look on her face and the tone she’s usin’.

“I understand, and I can not apologize enough.  But, we do want to help you and find who did this to you,” the female officer says softly.

“Here’s what I know, I was working late on a big order that I told my boss I would finish for him.  When I locked up, I was struck from behind.  I didn’t see their faces, they didn’t say anything and I have no idea why anyone would do this to me, or who it was.  If I knew something, I would tell you.  Unfortunately, the son of a bitch, knew not to show anything that I could use to identify him with, nor did his friends.  They didn’t say anything, probably realizing, I would be able to recognize their voices.  If this was done because I was targeted, then I have no clue who it could be.  I keep to myself, I don’t have friends because I generally don’t get along with most people.  My husband and I have been separated for two years and before you even go there, no I know for a fact that it wasn’t him.  I know every inch of his body, even after two years of separation, not to mention he would never hurt me.  I don’t know what else I can tell you, but I somehow doubt that you would even be able to find the bastards that did this, considering, there is no DNA and I didn’t see who it was.  Now, if that’s all, I’d like to get some rest,” Phoenix explains.

I know that she’s lying, but that’s because I know her better than anyone else.  Tig looks impressed, the officers look shocked by her abrupt attitude and I’m damn proud of her.  She’s never been one to show weakness, always wanting to be strong.  Now, I just need to find the bastards that hurt my mama and kill them.

“She’s made it clear that she doesn’t know who did this and she needs to rest.  Leave,” I tell them sternly.

“I don’t think that’s your call,” the arrogant bastard stated.

“No, but it is mine.  I’ve told you what I know, if you don’t like it, then tough shit.  I can’t tell you what I don’t know.  Get out, before I get upset.  I’m supposed to be resting anyway,” Phoenix states.

The female officer nods, stating that they would be in touch if any developments came up and for Phoenix to call if she did remember anything.  After they left, I found some paper and a pencil for her to draw the tattoos she could remember, hoping it would lead me to the fuckers.  Tig, tells me he’s going to call to check in with Clay.  I sit next to my baby girl while she draws, lost in my thoughts.  I know I’m going to have to explain to the club about, Phoenix.  I don’t know how they’ll react, but really, I just want to kill the fuckers and try to get my wife back.  We’ve been apart for long enough, it’s time to get back together and work shit out.  She can piss me off more than anyone, but even then, she turns me on and challenges me.  Never one to back down, no matter how pissed she makes me.  Tig, comes back, telling me that he gave a little information to, Clay, about what was going on.  Clay, was shocked that I was married, but told Tig, he’d let me explain it all to him.  I nod, knowing it was going to happen.  After thirty minutes, Phoenix is done drawing the few things she could remember.  Looking at the drawings, they aren’t any I’ve seen before, I pass them on to, Tig.  He looks at them and I see a look of recognition in his eyes, telling me, he knows something.

“We gotta get, I’ll come back in a while.  The doc said, she was keeping you overnight, so, I’ll be back to stay with you.  Then, when you’re released, you’re comin’ to stay with me.  Don’t even think about arguin’ with me, either,” I tell her softly, but with a stern look.

“Fine, make sure you tell your club about me.  Explain as much as you can, we both know they’re going to want to know why we haven’t been together for the last two years.  Plus, call your ma, let her know I’m ok and I’ll call her once I’m out of the hospital,” she looks up at me with a look of understanding.

I give her a kiss on the head and head for the door.  Tig nods and follows me out.

“You alright, man,” he ask when we get to the bikes.

“Yeah, just wanna find the fuckers that hurt my wife.  I’m gonna kill ’em and you’re gonna tell me what you know,” I tell him before mounting my bike and starting her up.

He nods and follows suit.  We get back to the clubhouse, all the guys are there, as is Gemma.  I hope she don’t plan on bein’ a bitch to my wife, because she’s been through enough shit, she doesn’t need anymore.

Hey, Daddy! 


This is a story about a young woman who, is trying to track down her father, a man she has never met.  He doesn’t know that she even exists, but she feels he has to be better than her mother was.  Imagine Christina Hendricks with dark red hair.  This is a Jax/OC story.  I do not own or have any claim to SOA.  

I have been driving for days.  Trying to find my father, who doesn’t even know I exist.  Hoping that he’s a better person than that of my mother. The woman who has never really cared about me, who let her husband, my step father abuse me.  Not that I actually need a father, I just need to know who he is.  I guess I should introduce myself, my name is Hollis Ray Walker.  I am 23 years old, from Columbus, Ohio.  My mother was born in Oregon, but moved away not long after she found out she was pregnant with me.  How she ended up in Ohio, I don’t know, but I can tell you living with her was hell at its finest and I have no plans to ever go back.  My grandparents died when I was ten and I barely even knew them.  That was what my mother wanted.

“Finally,” I sigh, as I see the welcome sign for Charming, California.  Now, I just need to find Teller-Morrow Auto.  I’m beyond nervous, but I know this is my father, I have evidence that he is, after stealing it from my mother.  Why she kept any of this, I have no idea, but I’m thankful she did.  I’ve had it for years, since I left really, but never had the guts to come find him until now.  

It doesn’t take me long to find Teller-Morrow Auto Repair, thankfully.  I pull into the lot and park.  I see several men look at my car with wide eyes.  I have a 1967 Chevy Impala hard-top, just like the one in Supernatural.  Only, this has been my dream car since I was little and first saw one.   The men watch as I step out of the car and I’m certain their eyes widen even more and their jaws drop.  Guess they aren’t used to seeing a woman drive a car like this.  Funny thing is, I do all of the repairs on my baby and rarely ever let anyone else work on her.  One of the guys comes walking up to me, blonde hair, blue eyes and pretty, but with a rough edge.  

“What can I do for you, darlin’,” he asks.

“I’m not here for anything to do with the car.  I’m looking for Alexander Trager,” I say softly, my nerves taking over.  

“Now, why are you looking for him,” he questions with a raised brow.

“Kind of a personal thing.  Although, I’m more than certain it’s not for the reason you think.  Is he here or not,” wanting to get this over with.

“Yeah, hold on, I’ll go get him for you.  You got a name,” he asks before walking away.

“Hollis, although, he doesn’t know who I am,” I tell him.

I watch as he walks away, toward a slender man, black curly hair.  I can see it didn’t get much from him, if he is my father.  I’m 5’7″, my hair is a light brown naturally, but dyed dark red.  I have pale skin, wide hips, a somewhat bubble butt, large breasts and blue eyes.  I’m a curvy woman and I take pride in myself.  For years as a child and later, a teen, I was shy and ashamed of my body.  Mainly, due to my step father, who sexually and physically abused me, all while telling me how ugly and fat I was.  I overcame that feeling a few years ago and now, I take pride in my body and who I am.  I see the slender man walking toward me with a look of confusion.

“So, how can I help you,” he asks as he reaches me.

“Uh, is there anywhere we can talk in private?  This is something I don’t really want to talk about in the open.  I’m not here to hurt you, it’s just very personal,” I explain, hoping that he says yes.

“Sure, follow me,” he shrugs.

I follow him to the office of the shop and watch as he closes the doors for privacy.  He turns to me, watching me as I sit in one of the chairs and start to pull things out of my bag.  It’s all of the evidence that I have to prove he is my father, at least I hope it does. 

“So, what’s up, doll,” he asks.

“First, can you look at this picture and tell me if it’s you,” I ask as I hand him the picture of who I think is him with my mother.

He looks at it and raises a brow in curiosity, “Yeah, that’s me.  My question is, how did you get it?”

“That’s the only picture that I could find with my mother and the man that she told me was my father.  I don’t know if you actually are my father, but from what I was able to steal from the bitch, it all points to you.  That’s why I’m here,” I explain quickly, knowing that it all sounds insane.

“She told you that I’m your dad,” he questions.  I can see the wheels in his head turning.

“She didn’t really tell me much, mainly, because she kind of hates me.  See, she got married when I was three and well, apparently I was a strain on her marriage in the beginning.  Until, she decided that she didn’t care what happened to me and let her husband abuse me.  I just want to know if you’re my father or not.  I’m not here to disrupt your life, I just need to know,” I say softly, feeling a little panicked.

“What do you mean, until she didn’t care what happened and let her husband abuse you,” he asks softly.  I can tell that he’s afraid of the answer.

“Uh, yeah, he beat and raped me from age five until I was seventeen,” I explained.  

“And she knew this was going on,” he asks through gritted teeth.

“Yep, she hated me.  I ruined her life and all that.  Anyway, is there any possibility that you are my father or not,” I ask.  I have to know.

“How old are you?”

“I’m 23, the only reason I’m here is to know.  I have to know who my father is.  I lived in hell when I was growing up and I have to know that I have a father,” I explain, hoping he can tell me.

“Jesus fucking Christ! So, you were born in ’85,” he asks softly.  I just nod in reply.  “Yeah, I’d say there’s a pretty good chance that I’m your dad,” he sighs.  “I’m not exactly a great role model though.”

“I don’t need a role model.  I know who I am, I just need to know who my father is.  That’s it,” I tell him honestly.

“Your mom and I, we were only together for a few months before she ran off.  I wasn’t exactly upset, because the woman’s fucking nuts, but Jesus! She could have told me she was fucking pregnant.  Not gonna lie, I’m not exactly a good guy, but I would’ve at least made sure none of that shit you went through wouldn’t have happened,” he exclaims.

“We can do a paternity test.  I have one that’s a mail in, it’s anonymous except for my name.  That’s if, that’s what you want to do,” not wanting to dwell on my past and my childhood.

He pauses for a moment, thinking if that’s something he wants to do before replying.  

“Yeah, we can do that,” he nods.  “We can do it now, if you have the kit with you.”

“Right here actually, I figured it couldn’t hurt to bring it with me,” I say pulling the test kit out of my bag.  

“Let me get one of the guys to come do the swab, if that’s alright with you,” he asks. 

I just nod and he heads out of the side door to what I’m guessing leads into the shop.  I sit there in the office alone and think about everything.  I might actually know who my father is, in just a matter of a week.  I’m nervous and excited and honestly, a little frightened.  I noticed that he had on a kutte with SAMCRO on it and a Sergeant of Arms patch.  I know that it’s a MC and he’s probably done many illegal things over the years.  But, I honestly can’t bring myself to care right now.  It’s obvious that he didn’t like what I told him about my childhood and that he’s pissed that I went through that, even though there is a possibility that I’m not his daughter.  The door opens again and in come Alexander and the blonde from before.

“So, what is it you want me to do,” the blonde asks.

“There’s a possibility that she’s my daughter and we need to do a paternity test to see if I am or not.  I just need you to swab our cheeks,” he explains.

“So, you might be a dad after all, Tig,” blondie chuckles.

“Yeah, yeah, can you do it or not,” ‘Tig’ asks.

“Sure,” he shrugs.

“I can do my own,” I say handing blondie one of the swabs.  They both look at me in question.  “I’m a nurse, so I’ve done this before.” 

“Alright,” blondie shrugs.  “I’m Jax, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you,” I nod as I open my swab.  I swab myself and place it in the container as Jax swabs Tig.  He hands it to me and I put it in the container then label it.  I seal the envelope so that I can mail it out later.

“How long will this take,” Tig asks.

“About a week, I’m going to overnight it to them and I paid extra to have it done immediately,” I explain.  ” I just need an address to send the results to, since I don’t live here.  I’m planning on staying in town at least until we get the results.”

“You got a place to stay while you’re in town,” Tig asks. 

“I’m just going to get a room at a hotel.  I have the money for it, so no worries,” I shrug.

“Why don’t you just stay here at the clubhouse, until we get the results from the test,” Tig offers.

“Huh, why?”  

“The clubhouse is going to be cleaner than the hotel or motel, more accurately, that you’ll be staying in, plus you won’t have to spend your money,” he explains.  “That, plus you and I can get to know one another.”

“I don’t want to barge into your life.  I just… I just wanted to know who my father was,” I explain, feeling a little on the spot.

“Stay, seriously.  You can take my room and that way no one will mess with you,” Jax says with a smile.

“Alright, I’ll stay, but if I see shit I don’t want to see, I’m out,” I say.  “Mainly, I don’t wanna see your shit,” I say pointedly to Tig.

“Deal, I’ll keep it away from you,” he nods at me with a small smile. 

I smile back at him and feel like this could be a really good relationship.  Well, as long as, he doesn’t fuck it up. 

Best friends and lovers

Story of an old friend that moves back after being gone for 5 years.  She was close with the gang, but more so with Hyde.  Hyde/OC. I do not own That 70’s show. 

I’m back home, where I’ve always belonged.  I should introduce myself, I’m Nicole Smith.  Five years ago, my parents and I moved away from Point Place, Wisconsin.  My dad was transferred and now, he’s been transferred back.  This time though, we won’t be moving again.  I had to leave my friends that I’ve had since kindergarten and I can only hope that they invite me back in to the gang.  Moving was terrible, I didn’t want to meet new people and experience new things.  I stayed in touch with Donna, though.  The one that I miss the most though, is Steven.  I was always closer to him than the rest, but we didn’t get to stay in touch.  I’m sure he probably won’t even recognize me.  Not that I’ll recognize him, either.  I walk up the the Forman’s door, it’s a Saturday, so with any luck, they’ll be here.  I knock on the door and wait for someone to answer.  The door swings open and it’s Mr. Forman, Red. 

“Can I help you,” he asks in a plain voice. 

“Hi, Mr. Forman.  I’m sure you won’t remember me, I’m Nicole Smith.  I lived here until about 5 years ago.  I was wondering if Eric was home,” I explain quickly and to the point. 

“Well, I didn’t even recognize you.  You’ve grown up.  C’mon in,” he says with a smile.  He was always nice to me when we were growing up.  Said I was the only one with a brain. 

“Thanks, we just moved back.  I was hoping to get with the old gang again,” I smile at him. 

“They’re down in the basement, probably doing something stupid.  C’mon, I’ll take you down,” he says heading toward the basement door.   We run into Mrs. Forman before we reach the door. 

“Oh, who’s this,” she asks as she sees me.

“Honey, this is Nicole Smith.  You remember her don’t you,” Mr. Forman says happily. 

“Oh! Sweetheart, it’s so good to see you.  What are you doing back?” She asks.

“Daddy was transferred back.  We just got in a couple of days ago.  It’s good to see you too, Mrs. Forman,” I smile and hug her. 

“Let go show the kids that your back,” she does her little laugh.  

We walk down the stairs and I see Eric, Donna, Kelso, Steven and two other people I don’t know sitting in front of the tv.  

“Kids, kids, look who’s here,” Mrs. Forman exclaims excitedly.  They all turn toward us and the only person who recognizes me is Steven.

“Nic,” Steven says in disbelief.

“Hi, Steven,” I smile softly at him.  He’s out of his chair in a flash and lifting me into a tight hug.  I wrap my arms around his neck and legs around his waist and begin to sob.  

“It’s really you.  You’re here,” he says softly into my neck.

“I’ve missed you so much.  I’m so sorry I left,” I sob into his neck.

“Hey, it’s cool,” he says as he sits down with me still wrapped around him like a monkey. 

I finally pull myself away from Steven, my best friend, the one person I’ve missed the most.  The one person I wanted after everything happened. You see, there is a reason why we moved back.  About a year ago, I was walking home from a friends house, who lived two blocks from us.  His older brother was home for a visit with his roommate.  His roommate followed me and attacked me.  I was beaten and raped, losing all innocence.  He’s in prison, but I still get fearful to walk alone at night or to even be home alone at night.  The only people who know are those in Chicago and my parents.  They’ve helped me and I went through some therapy.  But, the one person I wanted was Steven.  We’ve always been close, even though he’s not the type to talk feelings and emotions, he would with me.  He’s always been different with me.  Seeing him, brings back the feeling of just wanted to talk to him, during the worst time in my life.  

Hyde pov 

She really here.  The girl I was always so protective of.  The girl I would actually talk to and she would never judge me.  Damn, I’ve missed her so much.  She’s different, definitely grown up since five years ago.  Her brown hair long and curled, bright green eyes with a little makeup, pouty full lips.  Looking her over, she’s hot.  She’s a little curvy, big rack, still has that little bubble to her butt.  Damn, can’t believe how much she’s grown up in five years.  When she hugged me and wrapped herself around me crying, I couldn’t help but feel like something happened.  She’s never been one to cry, except when her grandma died when we were nine.  That’s the only time she’s ever cried, I wonder what happened.  When she pulls herself up and off me, I put my hands on her hips to steady her. She’s fucking beautiful.

“Nicole, I can’t believe you’re here,” Donna says excitedly.  She pulls Nic into a hug.  They were always good friends.  Both of them a tomboys growing up and able to take our crap and dish it right back.  “You didn’t tell me you weren’t coming back,” Donna says accusingly.

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” Nic tells her with a sheepish smile that makes my heart stutter.  Damn, that’s not good.

“Nicole,” Kelso shouts pulling her away from Donna.  They hug for a moment before Nic pulls away from him and steps back.  Thank god, because if it’d been any longer, I would have kicked his ass.  “You got hot,” Kelso yells.

“Yeah, thanks,” she says, but I see her tense a little at the statement. 

Eric hugs Nic for a moment before sitting down.  The Formans went back upstairs, leaving us to reconnect with Nic.  I see Jackie staring at Nic with venom.  This should be fun.  Nic was never one to take crap from anyone and I doubt she’ll do it now. 

“Who is this,” Jackie speaks up in a rude tone.

“This is Nicole Smith.  We grew up with her until five years ago her dad was transferred and she moved to Chicago,” Eric says with a smile.  He knows Jackie is probably going to throw a fit.

“Hi, and you are,” Nic asks her with a little attitude.  That’s my girl. 

“I’m Jackie Burkhart.  Michaels girlfriend,” Jackie states like that means something. 

“Wow, you actually got a girl to date you.  I never thought that would happen,” Nic says as I pull her into my lap.  She wraps her arm around the back of my neck.  It just feels right. 

“Burn!” Donna and Eric exclaim.

“Nicole, you know you always wanted some Kelso lovin’,” Kelso says with a grin, earning a smack from Jackie.

“Kelso, when I moved we were eleven.  I didn’t even want to touch you then, let alone now,” she says in disgust.

“Kelso, man, shut it,” I say menacingly.

“Oh, c’mon! Who doesn’t want some of this,” he exclaims.

“Me!” Donna and Nic yell.

“Look here, new girl,” Jackie starts off before I cut her off.  

“Jackie, she’s not the new girl.  We’ve known her longer than you and she’s my best friend, so shut your pie hole,” I say squeezing Nic’s hip. 

“Ugh, Michael, I want to go home,” Jackie says in a huff.  

After they leave, the room seems to relax.  

“So, who’s this one,” Nic asks pointing toward Fez.

“This is Fez, he’s the foreign exchange student,” Donna says.

“Hello, beautiful goddess, would you like to do it,” Fez says excitedly and I feel Nicole tense.

“Uh, no,” Nic says quietly.  This is not good.  Normally, she’d have more to say than that.

“So, your starting school after the new year,” Eric asks.

“Yeah, Mom and daddy, signed me up already.  It’ll be nice to be in school with you guys again,” Nic says sounding excited.

“You always were a nerd,” I tease.

“Shut it, you ass,” she says flicking my ear.

“Hey, it’s not my fault you’re so nerdy,” I tease poking her side, making her jump a little.  Giving me an awesome view of her bouncing tits.

“Anyway, I gotta get home.  I still have to unpack,” she says standing, my hands following her landing on her hips. 

“Want me to walk you,” I offer.  I need to get her alone, so I can talk to her.

“Sure, that’d be great, Steven,” she smiles her gorgeous smile at me.  “I’ll see you guys later,” she says hugging Donna and giving a small wave to Eric and Fez.

I put my hand on the small of her back and lead her out.  When we reach the driveway, I wrap my arm around her shoulders and she leans into me, wrapping her arm around my waist. 

“So, you wanna tell me why you tensed up back there,” I ask her quietly.

“Steven,” she says softly.

“C’mon, you can tell me anything.  What happened, Nic,” I ask her stopping to look down at her.

“Fine,” she sighs. 

She tells me about how a year ago she was walking home and was attacked.  They beat and raped her, that it was her friends brothers roommmate.  As she tells me, I become beyond angry.  No man should even force themselves onto a woman.  Should never lay a hand on a woman.  Pulling her to me, I hold her tightly as she cries a little telling me how when it happened, she wanted me to be there to comfort her.

“Hey, I’m here now and I’ll never let anyone hurt you again,” I promise her.

“Thank you, Steven,” she says as she rises up and kisses me on the corner on my mouth.  “You’ve always been different with me.  Why is that,” she asks leaning against me again.

“I don’t know, you never judged me.  Hell, your parents never judged me.  I remember when we met.  I walked you home because some kid was picking on you.  Your dad pulled up as we got there and told me ‘thank you for walking my little girl home.’  He patted me on the back and told me I was a good man.  After that I just became protective over you,” I explain as a run my hands up and down her back.

“I remember that.  You didn’t even charge me a quarter for walking me home,” she laughs. 

“Yeah, well, your dad made me feel like I did something right.  Plus, your mom made me dinner after calling Edna and letting her know where I was,” I shrug.

“I was picked on because I’m half black.  That’s not the ‘right’ thing to do.  My mom married a black man and that’s taboo,” she says sarcastically.

“Yeah, well, whatever.  It doesn’t matter what other people think,” I say putting my arm around her again and walking.  “So, everyone’s going to a disco, wanna be my date.”

“Steven, you don’t know how to dance,” she says smiling at me.

Does she have to know everything?  

“I’m taking lessons from Mrs. F.  Now answer the question,” I say, or more demand.  I wanted her to be my date.  I wanted to take her out.  I have no idea why I’m feeling this way, she’s always just been a friend.

“Sure, but you better dance with me, more than once,” she warns. 

“Done. So, how have your mom and dad been?”

We fall into an easy conversation.  It doesn’t take long to get to her place and we just sit on the porch talking.  After a while, her parents come out and I gotta say, it’s good to see them.

“Steven Hyde, now, I haven’t seen you in years.  How you doing, son,” Mr. Smith says.

“Been pretty good, Mr. Smith,” I say standing up, while taking Nic with me.

“Now, you know to call me Roy,” he says with a smile.

“Right,” I nod.

“You two come in.  We just wanted to tell you that we were going out to a late dinner. Why don’t you two come with us,” Mrs. Smith says with a bright smile.

“Uh, Mom, I think we’re going to stay here.  I just want to catch up with Steven, if that’s alright,” Nic says.

“Sure, honey.  There’s food in the house, help yourselves.  Steven you’re more than welcome to stay if you want,” Mrs. Smith says as she hugs me and kisses my cheek.

“I’ll think about it, Mrs. Smith,” I nod to her.

“Gail,” she reminds me.  

After they leave, we go inside and sit on the couch cuddling.  Now, I’m not the touchy feely type, but for her, I’d do damn near anything. 

“Ok, I need a joint,” Nic says standing, dragging me with her, although I’m surprised I can move from shock.

“What?”  That’s all I can get out as she pulls me along. 

“Steven, I want to get high, so we are going up to my room and smoking a joint.  I know you’ve done it before, so shut it,” she laughs at me.  

Once we get into her room, I grab her and toss her on the bed, watching her bounce.  What a glorious sight it is as she laughs. 

“Steven!” She laughs.

“What, I wanted to see if they bounced,” I say innocently.

“Seriously! What is it with guys and boobs,” she laughs out. 

“They are beautiful and bouncy.  What’s not to like,” I smirk at her. 

“Whatever, get in my bottom drawer of my desk and you’ll find a joint,” she says getting up to open the window.

I find it and we sit on her bed smoking.  I’m honestly shocked she smokes. But, then again, after everything she went through, I guess I shouldn’t be.   
Nicole’s pov

We talked through the night and at some point must’ve fallen asleep.  I woke up laying on Stevens chest with his arms wrapped around me.  I noticed last night how much Steven has changed.  Honestly, he’s down right sexy.  I haven’t laughed as much as I did last night in years.  With Steven, I can be me, I feel safe.  He might pick on me and tease me sometimes, but never to be mean.  When it’s just us, he shows a side of him that no one else gets to see.  We talked about the past five years and what we’ve been up to.  

Laying there, I trace the design on his shirt.  I feel him start to stir under my touch and deside to mess with him.  I slowly moved my fingers toward his side, knowing he’s ticklish.  Lightly, I run my fingers down his side and feel him jump.  I do it again, this time he grabs my hand and pulls me on top of him, making me laugh. 

“Quit that,” he says sleepily.

“But, it’s so fun,” I laugh. 

“How do you like it,” he asks then begins tickling me.

I squirm and laugh, trying to get away from him, but he’s too strong.  

“Uncle,” I laugh, getting him to stop.

“Good, now, be quiet, relax and go back to sleep,” he says wrapping him arms around me as I lay there on top of him.

“Steven,” I whisper, resting my chin on his chest.

“Nic, be quiet,” he whispers back.

“Steven, please,” I whisper again.

“What, Nic,” he sighs.

“Could you open your eyes first,” I asks softly.

His blue eyes meet my green ones and I’m mesmerized.  He looks up at me with the same face, I feel his hands run up my back as he leans up and me leaning down.  The moment our lips touch, I feel sparks.  I raise my legs up, straddling his hips with our lips still attach.  His hands drift to my hips as he runs his tongue over my bottom lip to which I grant him access immediately.  As the kiss deepens, I run my hands up and down his chest.  But, it’s all short lived.  I pull away panting a little, so is he.  

“Damn,” he breaths out.  “I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Me either.  I’m not sure where this leaves us,” I say quietly.

“Where do you want it to leave us,” he asks hesitantly.

“Steven, do you want to date?  To be boyfriend and girlfriend? I mean, if that’s what you want, then great, I’ll be your girlfriend, but if you just want sex, I can’t do that,” I explain to him and he sits up.

“Nic, for the past five years, I’ve thought about you.  Constantly, almost.  When you came down to the basement last night, I couldn’t help but think about how beautiful you are.  Then talking to you last night, just made me even more attracted to you.  I want you to be my girlfriend.  I mean, I’m not good with the mushy crap, but you’ve always just gotten me.  Even when I’m being an ass.  Be with me, be my girlfriend,” he says.  I know that in public he won’t be like this with me, that he’ll be his pervy self and an ass, but those are some of the things that make him, him. 

“Ok, but you have to go slow with me.  When I was raped, I was a virgin.  I just… I need you to go slow with me,” I tell him, hoping he can do that for me.

“I can do that, you’ve been my best friend since we were five.  You know, I’ll always be there for you, even if this doesn’t work out.  We’ll go at your pace,” he says running his hands up and down my back. 

“I need a shower and you should head home to get your dirty clothes.  Bring them back and I’ll wash them for you.  Then we can go do something if you want,” I suggest. 

“Sounds good, but you don’t have to wash my clothes,” he says kissing me again. 

“Steven, you need clean clothes, so just do it,” I say kissing him again before getting off the bed.  “I’ll be ready by the time you get back,” I say walking out the door.